Sick
by WhiteWinterWolfSoldier
Summary: Bucky is sick...


-Sick-

Steve Rogers was watching TV in Tony Stark's huge building late in the evening. He was watching an animal documentary because nothing went better than hearing someone scream. The soldier was immediately wide awake and followed the sound. In the hallway of the rooms he noticed his friend Tony. He stood there in blue pajamas, part of his Iron Man suit in his right hand.

„Psst. Tony!", he hissed.

The philanthropist whirled around and pointed his gun at Steve, but immediately dropped his hand again. He exhaled.

„Rogers! Why do you have to scare me like that!", he whispered.

„I'm sorry. Did you hear the scream too?"

„Yes, it seems to come from Barnes room", replied the Tony.

The two of them walked on slowly and stopped in front of the Winter Soldier's door. Tony looked at Steve again, who nodded before opening the door and both of them went inside. They found Bucky in his bed. He turned back and forth, it seemed like he was having a nightmare. Since the bedside lamp next to the bed was on, both of them could see that he was drenched in sweat.

„No! No! Stop!", he called panicked.

His chest rose and fell frantically. It seemed like he was in pain. Steve made a stab in his heart to see his best friend like this. He wanted to go to him, but Tony stopped him and shook his head. The soldier looked at him questioningly.

„You can't help him by waking him up", he whispered. „When he falls asleep again, the same memories are awakened in him again."

Steve's eyes went back to his friend Bucky. A soft sigh escaped his throat before he turned and left the room with Tony.

„I wish I could help him somehow", Rogers said after a while when they were both in the living room.

Tony had poured himself a glass of whiskey. A glass was also on the table for Steve, but he hadn't touched it yet.

„I know. He's your best friend, but I don't think you can help him with that, Steve", Tony replied sympathetically. Steve sighed and leaned back against the arm of the sofa. A smile appeared on his lips as he thought back on the past.

„You know... when I wasn't…" Steve gave a short laugh, it wasn't a happy or a sad laugh, „Wasn't Captain America, but was a small, thin boy from Brooklyn, Bucky always protected me. Bigger guys always hacked at me, beat me up, but he... he was always with me, was always there when I needed him…"

„That sounds like a really very loyal friend. A friend for life", Tony replied.

„Yes... yes, he is", said Steve, a small smile appeared on his lips. But this disappeared again when he continued to tell. „I wish I could give all of that back to him. Everything he did for me."

„But you did get him out of Hydra prison", said Tony.

„Yes, but that was a really small part of what Bucky did for me…", Cap lowered his eyes and stared at the whiskey in the glass in front of him.

„Steve, hey", he looked up. Tony looked at him. „I think the biggest thing you can give him now is that you are with him. He spent all these years alone in Mother Russia and was pumped full of… with LSD so that his memories are spongy again."

„You know yourself that it wasn't pumped full of LSD."

„Yes, but what I'm saying is that Bucky needs you as a friend now, Steve", Tony replied. „All these years you thought he was dead and then you saw him all of a sudden. You should do something happy with him again so that he forgets these dark years."

„And what should I do?", Cap asked.

Tony shrugged.

„What do I know… eating ice cream, doing yoga, bongo, lifting weights, what you just did together."

Steve smiled amused. The philanthropist rose to stretch.

„Well, then I go back to bed before Pepper wakes up and thinks I'm tinkering with my suits again."

„Good night, Tony, and thanks for your advice."

„No problem, buddy, that's what friends are for", he replied with a smile and walked away.

* * *

The next morning everyone was up early. Tony was in the workshop with Rohdes and Sam to upgrade their equipment, while Wanda and Vision watched TV together, Thor made a detour to Asgard, Hawkeye flew back to his family, Bruce was still sleeping soundly and Steve, Natasha and Pepper sat together at the breakfast table and had breakfast.

„I thought Bucky was always the early riser with you", said Natasha with a smile to Steve, who was making a jam of bread.

„Right", Pepper said.

„Is everything alright with you, Steve? You look so thoughtful", Nat said.

„Hm? No, everything-"

„Oh my god!", Natasha and Steve followed Pepper's shocked look and froze when they saw Bucky standing on the wall. He was soaked with sweat, beads of sweat ran down his temple. Deep dark circles adorned his pale face. His feverish, shiny eyes were fixed on Cap.

„Steve…", he murmured in a weak voice before his legs buckled and he fell to the floor.

„Buck!", Cap called and ran to him immediately.

* * *

„How is he?", asked Wanda after a while, when everyone was gathered together on the sofa. Bucky was in his bed while Natasha and Steve were with him.

„Friday couldn't see anything harmful in his body", Tony replied.

„But what about him then?", Pepper asked him, feeling that he was hiding something from them. „You know something, speak with us, Tony!"

The philanthropist looked into his wife's eyes. He sighed.

„Steve and I heard someone scream last night, and I think others heard it too", he began to tell. „It came from Barnes room. He seemed to be having nightmares. He was soaked with sweat and seemed to be in pain. I think his breakdown has something to do with these dreams…"

* * *

Steve sat in the leather armchair and stared at his best friend Bucky. He was in bed, his chest no longer rising and falling as hectically as a few hours ago. His eyelids twitched, now and then a painful groan escaped his lips. Natasha was sitting on the edge of the bed, holding a rag, and wiping the sweat from his face. Steve had stripped Bucky off his sweaty shirt, leaving him bare-chested under a thinner blanket to cool off. He had a high fever and occasionally mumbled words in Russian that nobody but Natasha or Wanda understood.

„It's bad to see him like that, isn't it?", Black Widow said.

„Yes", Steve replied after a short silence. „I've never seen him so sick. He had a little cold every now and then, but that was a few years ago…" Steve ran a hand over his face. „Why do I have a feeling that it's all related to his nightmares?"

„You mean when he was with Hydra?"

„He didn't tell me much about it, but I can see that he breaks inside. Buck always tries to solve everything on his own when he doesn't want his friends to get hurt", Cap told her calmly. „I just want to help him and-…"

The cough from Bucky silenced Steve. His friend writhed in bed in pain and inhaled and exhaled frantically. Scraps of words came to Steve's ears, which he did not understand. Together with Romanoff, he tried to calm his friend and wake him up at the same time.

„Bucky! Buck!", Cap kept shouting until the Winter Soldier's eyes suddenly opened. His chest rose and fell frantically as his eyes darted between Nat and Steve.

„Nat. Steve", he said in a low voice. He coughed slightly. Natasha and Steve let him sink back onto the bed. He closed his eyes wearily.

„How are you Buck?", Steve asked in a worried voice.

„My head is pounding. It feels like someone is hitting it with a hammer over and over and over again", his friend explained, squinting his eyes with a face contorted with pain.

When he opened his eyes again, he saw the worried looks of Nat and Cap. Bucky sighed softly and sat down with genuine effort.

„Whenever I close my eyes and... want to sleep... the images from the days when Hydra found me and turned me into a weapon appear to me…", Bucky turned his gaze to Steve. Tears had formed in his eyes. „I see all the dead before my eyes. All the innocent people I killed…"

„But it wasn't your fault", Natasha said sympathetically. „It was Hydra's work. They forced you to do these jobs!"

„I know... I keep telling myself over and over, but that doesn't make it any better", replied the Winter Soldier, clenching his hands into fists. „I killed these people! Even if I had no other choice, the innocent blood of so many people sticks to my hands!"

Bucky buried his face in his hands.

„Barnes…", Natasha started, but Steve cut her off.

„Nat, could you please leave me alone with Bucky for a moment?"

Black Widow looked at Cap for a moment before nodding.

„Of course."

When the door closed, Steve sat on the edge of the bed and gently touched Bucky's arm.

„Bucky, look at me", he said in a calm voice. His friend slowly raised his head and looked him in the eye. „I know how painful these memories have to be for you and I know you don't want to see them anymore, but you shouldn't forget one thing... I'm here for you, Bucky, okay? I am always there for you, my friend. If you need help I'm with you and help you, you just have to tell me."

Bucky looked at Steve in silence, then he nodded slowly.


End file.
